6. Jul, 2016

Just a small diversion

A couple of days ago I heard the howl of the Black Dog in the distance. How well do I know that mournful sound! “I’m coming for a visit” he barks incessantly and I know full well that there is nothing to be done but to wait for his arrival. He arrived yesterday morning at my bedside and licked my face in greeting. No words can describe how much I hate the bastard but the more I hate him the longer he stays so I pretend to love him. Through the years, since my teenage days in fact, I have tried every trick in book to banish the fiend. Drugs of every description have been tried unsuccessfully. Alcohol, cannabis, Beta blockers, Valium, Zopiclone, uppers and downers of every description all to no avail. So now I pat him on the head and say “good doggy”. The Black Dog always brings gifts. Depression, anxiety, sadness, darks thoughts that I won’t mention and other little irritants like anger and morbidity are dropped at my feet as he wags his miserable tail. This is his first visit for many months and possibly even for a year or two so I am prepared to play his game. Embrace him, pat him on his head, scratch his ears and he soon gets bored. Take him for a walk, mow the lawn, eat well, get dressed and try to stay away from the darkened room. Avoid drugs. Concentrate. Practice patience. Meditate. It is a game but a deadly serious one because the Black Dog is a killer. A ruthless, unbiased killer. I encourage you to talk about him to your friends and family and not to hold onto the Black Dogs lead in silence. Ignore the Hound from Hell’s greatest and most lethal weapon. Stigma. People who judge you are ignorant of this illness and need to be educated because the truth is simple. Depression can be managed very successfully with the correct support and understanding. Hang in there my fellow bi-polarites, you are not alone. And now I have a painting to finish. The funny thing is that as I type this I can sense that the Black Beast from Hades is getting bored.